Dogs doing lists #8: Nevermind, Whatever, Who Cares
- Dogs chasing Jack the Ripper through the East End fog, shouting, “Hey, wait!” before falling into an open sewer and whispering as the swirling darkness creeps in, “I’ve got a new complaint.”
- Dogs swearing over and over again, “No, I don’t have a gun,” and then seeing the future through a spacetime viewer and realizing, “OH.”
- Dogs riding a nuclear missile through downtown Seattle as the masses gather to chant in unison, “Here we are now, entertain us,” and observing a brief, distinct cheer as a flash flickers and disintegrates the populace.
- Dogs delivering Harvard’s 1992 commencement speech by strumming the opening chords to “Rape Me.”
- Dogs diving into the mouth of an anesthetized Courtney Love to discover a shrunken, bloodied Voldemort, and radioing back to the surgical team, “It’s something beyond either of our help.”
- Dogs gazing into the criss-crossed lifeless eyeballs of a reconstructed Kurt Cobain and muttering into a handheld voice-recorder, “Autopsy report for Burt Cocaine…”
- Dogs sliding down the muddy banks of the Wishkah and igniting the river upon coming into contact with the water.
- Dogs slipping a heroin-filled syringe into a vein and falling asleep for 20 years.
- Dogs bearing witness to the spontaneous dissolution of all existence and letting loose a giggle as Krist Novoselic pops into view to offer, “Tha-, tha-, tha-, that’s all folks!” followed by a final “HI AXL.”
- Dogs burping an infant Kurt Cobain and rocking him gently to sleep, murmuring, “That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.”
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