24.06.11

Dogs doing lists #2: Memories of Altamont

  1. Dogs extracting a knife from a concert victim’s lung, eliciting a tinny, resigned sigh of “I can’t get no satisfaction” as it deflates.
  2. Dogs donning a rubber LBJ mask before disrobing to frolic in the mud, explaining, “Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind.”
  3. Dogs observing to their comrade after Pete Townsend bludgeons Abbie Hoffman off the stage, “Violence is the purest form of expression.”
  4. Dogs pausing to scrape an eyeball from their steel-toe boot as “Midnight Rambler” crescendos.
  5. Dogs stuffing an addled, shivering Keith Richards into a bloated hippie corpse, muttering, “This may smell bad, kid, but it’ll keep you warm.”
  6. Dogs lumbering indifferently across the stage, their footfalls clomping over the silent crowd, carrying a door emblazoned with the word “PIG” written in Sharon Tate’s blood.
  7. Dogs kissing Bellatrix Lestrange full on the mouth before jointly casting Avada Kedavra on a whimpering Wavy Gravy.
  8. Dogs narrating a documentary on the 60s, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world,” and pausing to reflexively froth at the mouth as the camera pans over a nude Bond girl emerging from the ocean.
  9. Dogs looking skyward as the Grateful Dead flee for their lives and Richard Nixon’s face floats overhead, blocking the sun and shuddering its jowls.
  10. Dogs driving a VW bus into a crowd of Merry Pranksters and screaming out the back, “It’s the 80s!”

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